Week 13 - Words Aptly Spoken

“A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver.” (Proverb 25:11)

Whoever said, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me,” was either hard of hearing or had a really effective way of dealing with it.

Words can hurt, and in the case of some, they can hurt very badly. However, words can also heal. I know of people being healed of their emotional illness through pastoral counselling.

Proverb 25:11 tells us that “a word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver.” This is a beautiful picture of what a well-spoken word looks like. Think of apples of gold surrounded by silver. Perhaps when King Solomon was writing these words, his eyes fell on a silver plate of golden apples that was on his writing desk.

Undoubtedly, this proverb is packed with much wisdom. First, it shows that wise words are like gold. They are valuable and attractive. These wise words are like apples of gold in that their worth and appeal have been greatly enhanced by skilful craftsmanship, which has moulded them into a pleasing form. Additionally, these words are in a beautiful setting — like a diamond set in a ring. This setting presents the words in a way that is perfectly fitted to the circumstance. And the silver setting helps to enhance the beauty of the gold (our spoken words) for all to see.

It is through our words that we can encourage one another and build each other up. Paul even encourages us to speak “what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen” (Ephesians 4:29 ). Scripture tells us to bless and encourage each other with our words. We can be a blessing with just a few simple words. For our words to be apt, we need to be mindful that our words must be thoughtful, timely and truthful.

Thoughtful Words

When we speak, we cannot rewind and undo what we have just spoken. Therefore, it is important that we learn to be careful with what we say lest we have to “eat” our words. In the heat of the moment, we may say things we do not really mean. We say things that we wish we had not, and utter words that we wish we could take back.

Proverbs 15:28 says, “The heart of the righteous weighs its answers…” To “weigh its answer” means to carefully muse or consider an answer before verbalising it, or before blurting out the first thing that comes to mind.

Words can “draw” people closer to each other. Words can bring healing. Words can convey deep truth. Words can carry love, understanding and encouragement. Hence, Christians must carefully choose their words, and deliberate on thoughtful words before speaking.

We are accountable for our words. Jesus warned His disciples in Matthew 12:36 that, “men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken.”

Timely Words

Our words need to be timely. It is too late to tell someone that shoplifting is wrong after he has been caught red-handed. Much of life is about timing, and that is especially true of spoken words. Proverbs 15:23 states: “A man finds joy in giving an apt reply — and how good is a timely word!”

Some advice is useful only when given at the right time. This is particularly true when we are trying to correct people of their mistakes or wrong impressions. We need God’s wisdom to discern the best time for certain conversations to take place.

Truthful Words

Someone once gave me this advice: Say what you mean and mean what you say. In other words, let what you say be truthful. Proverbs 12:19 says, “Truthful lips endure forever, but a lying tongue lasts only a moment.”

Have you ever wondered why God cares so much about the words we use?

The reason is because our words are a gift from Him. Words were present at the beginning of time. We read in Genesis 1:1 that God “spoke the universe into existence.” God reveals Himself to mankind through His Word, the Bible. And God sent His Son, Jesus, who is the Word of God made flesh. Words are important to God, and if they are important to Him, they should be important to us as well.

How then can we develop the ability to speak apt words? The answer is in our hearts. Jesus said of man that “out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks” (Matthew 12:34 ). Our hearts control what we speak. Hence the psalmist prayed, “May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer” (Psalm 19:14 ).

May our words be aptly spoken, always thoughtful, timely and truthful, and fit for the King.

As Christians, we are to use every opportunity to “build people up.” We are surrounded with people who are crying out for words of encouragement. We live in a world that is filled with despair, confusion and darkness. The economic downturn and the threat of Influenza A (H1N1) have added to the already gloomy outlook. We need as many words of hope as we can get, and “wise” words which only Jesus can give through His disciples — through you and me.

Let us commit ourselves to honouring God with our words. May our words be aptly spoken, always thoughtful, timely and truthful, and fit for the King.